Week 52: I'm Back (July 1, 2019)
How to describe this kind of a week... Maybe there are not many words. It
has been a really emotional week, highs and lows, and really great
lessons learned. We received transfer calls Monday night, and I found
out that I was going back to Helena, in different wards than I had
previously served in. So I'M BACK Helena, the Lord has more for me here.
I spent eight glorious months in Billings. Eight months of hard work, love, and honestly witnessing miracle after miracle. I made friendships with people that will last far into the eternities. I knew that whenever I left, it would be really hard... And gosh I have to tell you that it was. I said goodbye to people like Ed, and Joe, and Kim, and all these amazing people with whom my testimony has grown with. With Ed, as we went to say a closing prayer on a bench in South Park, he wanted us all to hold hands. I held his and Sister Call's, and I volunteered to say it; but, I couldn't. I sat there, eyes closed, both of my hands being squeezed on both sides, just sobbing. Once I eventually mustered out an amen, Ed grabbed me by the arm, looking me in the eyes and said, "Don't cry... Only if they are happy tears. I will see you again."
Many more interactions like that, happened that day. Many of the things I said to others, and they said to me, are too sacred for me to share. But I sat in many more rooms, many more homes, sobbing, holding the hands of those with whom the Lord allowed me to hold and love for so long. And they got to hold me. There are no adequate words to describe the love I have for the people of Billings, and the piece of my heart that they will always hold.
Through the sadness, and late night packing stresses leading up to transfers, my heart was honestly pricked at the amount of love I received from those around me. From those I taught and loved, from my companions, from my mission president and his wife, and just from all sides.
When the morning arrived for transfers, I continued on in my duties, getting the new missionaries ready to go, and pretending like my stuff wasn't packed in the bus too. I was the last one, and I walked with my companions. I hugged my friends, gave some handshakes, and got on to the bus, being in the very first row. Now this makes it sound really depressing - like I was leaving the mission and would never see them again. And of course I would! But let me tell you why this was all so significant, and really was the Lord extending His tender arm towards me.
Being last on the bus made me sit in the very front row. I got to spend a four hour bus ride talking to Vicki, the bus driver, who distracted me completely. I was able to jump off the bus in Bozeman, welcoming a sister going to be dropped off in Helena with me too. I was the last one off the bus, and was immediately thrown into the arms of my new companion, Sister Jones, and the arms of other friends I hadn't seen in a long time. We were go, go, go, and that is how we have been since. And I have not cried, since that morning, when the bus left the mission home parking lot. I realize I still have not explained fully why this all was so significant, but it was because I had asked the Lord for that.
I had told the Lord that I trusted Him, to put me wherever it was that He needed me. I told him that, even once I already knew I was going to Helena, and that I trusted Him still. And He took my pain from me, the moment I needed to follow His will, and drive off on that bus. He distracted me time and time again, and gave me more people to love. He helped me fulfill my promise to Him, that I would trust.
Neal A. Maxwell said, "By taking Jesus's yoke upon us and enduring, we learn most deeply of Him and become like Him. Even though our experiences are micro compared to His, the process is still the same."
The process of enduring is made for us to better experience joy - and in our process to become perfected we must patiently endure circumstances we do not pick. Elder Maxwell continued by saying, "If certain mortal experiences were cut short, it would be like pulling up a flower to see how the roots are doing. Put another way, too many anxious openings of the oven door, and the cake falls instead of rising."
We must patiently wait as the Lord ingrains permanent change in us.
Coming back to Helena felt almost like going back home. People remembered me, and welcomed me back with open arms. And the only one that could make me feel this good, this at peace, is the Lord. He took my sadness, and is holding it for a time. And I will patiently walk forward, letting go of what I wanted, and letting God move me forward.
These few days in Helena have been incredible. I have met people who I already know, have a part in my purpose here. And it has been amazing.
On Sunday, we got to teach a lesson to a man named Chris, who's girlfriend, family, and other friends were also in attendance. The spirit felt in that room as he talked about the profound influence his friends had on him, was profound. Almost everyone was in tears as testimonies were born. When asked if baptism was something that may be a goal of his, Chris looked at us and said, "Well of course... I mean there is no coincidence why I am here." And there is no coincidence why I am here too.
Good things are happening. And the Lord is blessing me more than I could ever even ask for. How good the Lord truly is.
Sister Walstad
I spent eight glorious months in Billings. Eight months of hard work, love, and honestly witnessing miracle after miracle. I made friendships with people that will last far into the eternities. I knew that whenever I left, it would be really hard... And gosh I have to tell you that it was. I said goodbye to people like Ed, and Joe, and Kim, and all these amazing people with whom my testimony has grown with. With Ed, as we went to say a closing prayer on a bench in South Park, he wanted us all to hold hands. I held his and Sister Call's, and I volunteered to say it; but, I couldn't. I sat there, eyes closed, both of my hands being squeezed on both sides, just sobbing. Once I eventually mustered out an amen, Ed grabbed me by the arm, looking me in the eyes and said, "Don't cry... Only if they are happy tears. I will see you again."
Many more interactions like that, happened that day. Many of the things I said to others, and they said to me, are too sacred for me to share. But I sat in many more rooms, many more homes, sobbing, holding the hands of those with whom the Lord allowed me to hold and love for so long. And they got to hold me. There are no adequate words to describe the love I have for the people of Billings, and the piece of my heart that they will always hold.
Through the sadness, and late night packing stresses leading up to transfers, my heart was honestly pricked at the amount of love I received from those around me. From those I taught and loved, from my companions, from my mission president and his wife, and just from all sides.
When the morning arrived for transfers, I continued on in my duties, getting the new missionaries ready to go, and pretending like my stuff wasn't packed in the bus too. I was the last one, and I walked with my companions. I hugged my friends, gave some handshakes, and got on to the bus, being in the very first row. Now this makes it sound really depressing - like I was leaving the mission and would never see them again. And of course I would! But let me tell you why this was all so significant, and really was the Lord extending His tender arm towards me.
Being last on the bus made me sit in the very front row. I got to spend a four hour bus ride talking to Vicki, the bus driver, who distracted me completely. I was able to jump off the bus in Bozeman, welcoming a sister going to be dropped off in Helena with me too. I was the last one off the bus, and was immediately thrown into the arms of my new companion, Sister Jones, and the arms of other friends I hadn't seen in a long time. We were go, go, go, and that is how we have been since. And I have not cried, since that morning, when the bus left the mission home parking lot. I realize I still have not explained fully why this all was so significant, but it was because I had asked the Lord for that.
I had told the Lord that I trusted Him, to put me wherever it was that He needed me. I told him that, even once I already knew I was going to Helena, and that I trusted Him still. And He took my pain from me, the moment I needed to follow His will, and drive off on that bus. He distracted me time and time again, and gave me more people to love. He helped me fulfill my promise to Him, that I would trust.
Neal A. Maxwell said, "By taking Jesus's yoke upon us and enduring, we learn most deeply of Him and become like Him. Even though our experiences are micro compared to His, the process is still the same."
The process of enduring is made for us to better experience joy - and in our process to become perfected we must patiently endure circumstances we do not pick. Elder Maxwell continued by saying, "If certain mortal experiences were cut short, it would be like pulling up a flower to see how the roots are doing. Put another way, too many anxious openings of the oven door, and the cake falls instead of rising."
We must patiently wait as the Lord ingrains permanent change in us.
Coming back to Helena felt almost like going back home. People remembered me, and welcomed me back with open arms. And the only one that could make me feel this good, this at peace, is the Lord. He took my sadness, and is holding it for a time. And I will patiently walk forward, letting go of what I wanted, and letting God move me forward.
These few days in Helena have been incredible. I have met people who I already know, have a part in my purpose here. And it has been amazing.
On Sunday, we got to teach a lesson to a man named Chris, who's girlfriend, family, and other friends were also in attendance. The spirit felt in that room as he talked about the profound influence his friends had on him, was profound. Almost everyone was in tears as testimonies were born. When asked if baptism was something that may be a goal of his, Chris looked at us and said, "Well of course... I mean there is no coincidence why I am here." And there is no coincidence why I am here too.
Good things are happening. And the Lord is blessing me more than I could ever even ask for. How good the Lord truly is.
Sister Walstad
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